21 Days

My husband is unique at our church as he is always the only man that consistently wears a bow tie. It is a family tradition for the boys in the family and started when their dad wore bow ties in college. When my hubby was a teen he ran across a few of his dad's old bow ties and decided that was a fashion statement he wanted to make. His brothers followed his example and the legend lives on.

I'm pretty sure this was around '94-'95 for Father's Day/Grandpa's birthday.

The boys took their dad on a river rafting trip down the Kern River for his 70th birthday. The next trip was planned for his 75th birthday which would have been next June.

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My father in law was diagnosed with cancer on June 3rd. Just 3 weeks, exactly 21 days later, he passed away peacefully at home. He was tired, had a limp and complained of gall bladder pain in May. My in laws went on a cruise, then came home to the news that a biopsy on his liver was needed. That week he went to the er for intense pain from an infection on the site of his biopsy.

He was in the hospital for 15 days and came home to hospice care. Just 9 days later he passed from this life. It was a short time, but those 3 weeks felt like 3 years. My husband travelled from San Diego to Riverside weekly (1 1/2 hour drive) with severe back pain and spent some good time with his dad.

The kids and I visited him in the hospital where we snuck him outside to the sculpture garden for some much needed fresh air. We ignored the persistent beeping of his iv's and other machines as we went out of range from the nurse's station. A kind nurse tracked us down and let us slowly make our way back up to his room. The kids made pictures and cards for their grandpa. C-11 drew a picture of Link (from the Legend of Zelda) fighting an ugly blob. The caption was Link fights Cancer.

On Father's day, just 3 days before he passed, we visited him. Uncle A flew in from Utah and the four boys administered a priesthood blessing to their dad. They sang him primary childrens Father's Day songs. When asked how he was doing he weakly smiled, played air guitar and sang, "Staying alive, staying alive."

I was proud of my children as they all eagerly went to grandpa's hospital bed in the family room without hesitation and hugged him and loved him. They took turns brushing his hair and gave him comfort.

The funeral went well and we were supported by many. Years ago Ken was Bishop of the ward he lived in (when my husband was 8 years old) and he was much loved. On the Facebook wall of a ward member that graduated with W's older brother, she said, "When Bishop P interviewed you for your dance card he had a way of looking at you like he was looking into your soul."

He was a good man and his family loved him. The four boys each gave a talk as well as their step sister and some others. They all did a fantastic job. The underlying theme was he was a man of Service, Testimony and Competition on the road and the basketball court. We heard some great stories. It's all so surreal and I can't believe he is gone. I am grateful for the knowledge we have of eternal families and the resurrection. It is a great comfort at this time.